Online Dissonance

The Dissonance Between Our Online Personas and Real Life.

In the early days of the internet, anonymity was our shield. We reveled in the freedom to be anyone we wanted, hidden behind usernames and avatars. But as technology evolved, our digital lives merged with reality, blurring the lines between our online and offline selves. Today, we spend hours immersed in social media, crafting digital identities that may diverge from who we truly are. Let’s explore this dissonance and its impact.

Ernest Cline’s “Ready Player One” paints a dystopian future where people escape their bleak reality by diving into the OASIS, a virtual universe filled with ’80s nostalgia and pop culture references. The message is clear: Beware of losing yourself in the allure of virtual existence. Life demands our attention, even when tech beckons. The OASIS mirrors our own obsession with screens, where we’d rather scroll through feeds than engage with the tangible world. As you will notice throughout these blogs, I have a strong fascination with the “Ready Player One” fictional work, that’s because I see how close we are to it not being a fictional work, but a very strong possibility in the very near future. Virtual reality is readily available, games are becoming more realistic, and we keep falling deeper into the trap of losing ourselves in the digital world.

Much like the characters in ‘Ready Player One’, many of us find solace in virtual worlds. Take Alex (a fictional character), for instance, an unassuming office worker by day and a legendary World of Warcraft (WoW) player by night In Azeroth, Alex is “Stormblade,” a revered guild leader who conquered dungeons, amassed gold, and earned the envy of fellow players. His online persona radiates confidence, charisma, and power.

Anonymity fuels Alex’s success. Behind the screen, he’s free from societal judgments, insecurities, and physical limitations. He thrives in a realm where his real-world struggles fade away. But herein lies the paradox: as anonymity shields him, it also emboldens him. Alex, like many, forgets that his actions reverberate beyond the game.

Alex’s WoW fame spills into forums and social media. He becomes a cyberbully, attacking players who dare challenge him. Anonymity amplifies his aggression. He forgets that behind every avatar is a person with feelings. The same anonymity that empowered him now blinds him to empathy.

Real-world examples of the dissonance between online personas and real life are abundant. Take, for instance, the phenomenon of ‘catfishing,’ where individuals create fake online profiles to deceive others. This behavior is often driven by a desire to escape reality and present an idealized version of oneself. A Further example is the rise of ‘influencers’ on social media, who carefully curate their online presence to project a certain image, often at odds with their real lives.

Another unintentional, but all too real, phenomenon works the other way around. I call it the “highlight reel of you or your friend’s life dilemma”. You see, we don’t post our everyday dreary existences on social media. We rather post whenever we did something fun, went somewhere, achieved something, made something, wore something special etc. Those moments are captured in a feed that creates a highlight reel of your life. When other people then consume your social media feed, it creates the illusion that your life is one giant story of success, fun and ease. It becomes an advertisement for people to be like you, always doing cool stuff or always playing. It encourages them to conform, which fuels the “keep up with the Joneses’”.

This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). We then either portray ourselves in a fake manner or strive to achieve an existence full time which was always meant to be part time.

The truth is that our online personas shouldn’t eclipse our true selves. In fact, we should extend our true selves into our online persona and instead, bridge the gap. Authenticity matters. When we embrace both our digital and physical lives, we find balance. Alex, too, must remember that his WoW feats don’t define him entirely and certainly not past the borders of the game. His real-world kindness matters more.

Too often I have seen people get lost in the abyss. Their online persona becomes the dominant one and online behaviors seep into real life.

In the spirit of “Ready Player One,” let’s cherish our reality. Look up from our screens, witness the wonders around us. Science fiction can inspire, but it shouldn’t replace genuine experiences. The OASIS isn’t our salvation; it’s a cautionary tale.

As we navigate this digital age, let’s honor our authentic selves. Whether in Azeroth or reality, kindness transcends anonymity. Let’s learn from Alex’s journey: Success doesn’t excuse cruelty. Our online personas should reflect our best selves, not our worst.

Since you’ve read this far, I assume you’d like some advice on what to look for when it comes to your own offspring.

As a parent, it’s important to monitor your children’s online persona and behavior. Here are some tips to help you navigate this complex issue:

Communication is Key:

• Open Dialogue: Engage in regular conversations with your children about their online activities. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share their experiences and thoughts. For example, “What do you enjoy most about the games or social media platforms you use?”
• Discuss Authenticity: Emphasize the importance of being genuine and kind online. Explain how pretending to be someone they’re not, can lead to misunderstandings and even harm. Use real-life examples, if appropriate, to illustrate the consequences of online deceit or cruelty.

Set Boundaries:

• Screen Time Limits: Establish clear rules for internet use, including time limits for social media and gaming. Explain that these boundaries help ensure a healthy balance between online and offline activities.
• Parental Controls: Utilize parental control tools to monitor and manage your children’s online activities. This can help prevent exposure to inappropriate content and reduce the risk of cyberbullying or other harmful interactions.

Be Vigilant:

• Observe Changes: Pay attention to any noticeable shifts in your children’s behavior, such as increased aggression, withdrawal, or anxiety. These changes might indicate struggles with their online persona or interactions.
• Address Concerns: If you observe concerning behavior, approach your child with empathy and understanding. Discuss what you’ve noticed and offer your support. If necessary, seek help from professionals like counselors or child psychologists.

Lead by Example:

• Mindful Digital Footprint: Model healthy online behavior for your children by being conscious of your own digital presence. Share positive and authentic content and avoid engaging in negative behaviors like trolling or oversharing.
• Digital Detox: Show the importance of taking breaks from screens by participating in offline activities as a family. Encourage hobbies that do not involve technology, such as reading, outdoor sports, or arts and crafts.

By implementing these strategies, you can help your children navigate their online experiences with integrity and balance. Remember, fostering open communication and leading by example are key to helping them develop a healthy relationship with their digital lives.